In Her Own Words
About Her
I would flirt with you, but I'd rather seduce you with my awkwardness.
I tell great jokes -- the problem is I start laughing before I even get to the punchline. No one actually gets to hear the end of the joke --- it's the price you pay for my level of comedic timing.
If there is a carpet or a step, I will trip over it ---often a total t^ts-over-arse .... the tripping does not need alcohol, it's my special skill.
Great cook --- just too lazy to cook. I can make a reservation like a fiend --- it is almost a super power the way I do it. I am also happy to watch you in an apron. You actually cooking is optional.
Animal Lover --- a maltese poodle is not a dog. I am slightly obsessed with red foxes. I really love dogs - though presently find myself sans dogs.
Winner of a Beauty contest in monopoly. #truestory
Owner of a car ---- it's more of a plumber's van. But try not to show the revulsion on your face too early, it's bound to hurt my feelings
On our first date I will probably carve our initials onto a tree, for no other reason than to show you that I carry a flick knife with me.
I am going to be your most fun "lets go for drinks" date --- I may or may not remember the last 2 hours or so, but let's live wild and free, and clearly senseless.
Sometimes I tell people I work at McDonalds and they do not seem to be surprised by that statement ---not sure what to do with that piece of information.
I take myself incredibly seriously .... as you can tell.
I am not interested in what you earn, the car you drive, or even how many divorces you have under your belt. It does bother me if you pose in front of a vibracrete wall.
If you can laugh at the part in Monty Python where they use coconut shells to make horse-hooves sounds, then I have already picked out a wedding dress and I know what we will be doing for the next 29 - 56 days.
If sarcasm upsets you, then I suggest you walk away.
But do it with a Michael Jackson moonwalk, just so we retain eye contact the entire time.
About Her Ideal Match
I am not sure if he is out there. I am hoping for that moment when I meet someone and I JUST KNOW. That this guy is going to be worth a restraining order.
One day.
I want MY person who I can get up to shenanigans with, and he will forgive me all my wrong doings. He will be happy to lie on the couch and watch me fall asleep as soon as the movie starts.
I want to be "enamored" by someone. Besotted with. Smitten with. And I want someone to look at me like I am chocolate cake.
I am not looking for someone to save me (white knights need not apply).
I have a good life -- I want to meet someone who has a life and who still gets excited about "buy one get one for free" deals.
I can usually pay my Wooworths account on time --- I am on the verge of opening a Mr Price account. That just shows you how financially secure I am!! Can I get a whoop-whoop?? {last month I was eating baked beans out of a tin, so it can go any direction at any time}
What I want is someone who holds me close, I can rest my head on their chest and for a few moments forget I have had a crap day ---- I am 1.73cm so size is an issue here. And I wear heels.
Someone who I can talk to --- great communication is almost number 1 on the "shit that is really important list."
This is the sort of thing that I would laugh at : There's no "I" in "team" but there are 5 in "individual brilliance".
Someone who appreciates how important a stable wi-fi connection is.
Someone who understands sanity is a fluid state.
Someone who knows if they jump out of the cupboard and scream "BOO" I will probably sh^t my pants. But they are still brave enough to do it.
Someone who sings Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody full throttle even if they get half the words wrong.
Just a nice guy.
What Her Friends Say
xoJane hasn't asked any friends to write a recommendation yet.
About Her
Country of Origin: |
South Africa | |
Location: |
Northern Suburbs (Cape Town), Cape Town, South Africa | |
Gender: |
Female | |
Age: |
51 | |
Star Sign: |
Taurus | |
Height: |
173cm (5' 8.1") | |
Body Type: |
Curvaceous | |
Looks: |
Above Average | |
Hair Colour: |
Blonde | |
Eye Colour: |
Blue | |
Ethnicity: |
White/Caucasian | |
Home Language: |
English | |
Other Languages: |
Afrikaans | |
Religion: |
Other | |
Relationship Status: |
Divorced | |
Looking for: |
Activity partners; Open to possibilities; Long-term; Marriage | |
Have Children: |
Yes, living with me sometimes | |
Want Children: |
No | |
Daily Diet: |
Eat most things | |
Smoking: |
Non-Smoker | |
Drinking: |
Occasional Drinker | |
Education: |
Technical Diploma | |
Occupation: |
Self-employed | |
Income: |
Solvent |
About Her Ideal Match
Country of Origin: |
Anywhere in the World | ||
Location: |
City Bowl (Western Cape, South Africa) | ||
Gender: |
Male | ||
Age Range: |
45 - 59 | ||
Star Sign: |
Any | ||
Height: |
175cm (5' 8.9") - 210cm (6' 10.7") or taller | ||
Body Type: |
Average | ||
Looks: |
Average; Attractive | ||
Hair Colour: |
Any | ||
Eye Colour: |
Any | ||
Has a Photo: |
Non-negotiable | ||
Ethnicity: |
White/Caucasian; Mixed | ||
Home Language: |
English | ||
Other Languages: |
Any | ||
Religion: |
Agnostic; Atheist; Buddhist / Taoist; Christian / Catholic; Christian / Protestant; Christian / Other; Jewish; Spiritual, but not religious; Christian / Orthodox | ||
Relationship Status: |
Single; Divorced; Widowed | ||
Have Children: |
Any | ||
Want Children: |
No | ||
Daily Diet: |
Eat most things | ||
Smoking: |
Non-Smoker; Occasional; Trying to Quit | ||
Drinking: |
Occasional Drinker; Regular Drinker | ||
Education: |
Some University / College; Technical Diploma; Associates degree; Bachelors degree; Postgraduate degree; PhD / Post Doctoral | ||
Occupation: |
Artistic / Musical / Writer; Executive / Management; Finance; Labour / Construction; Legal; Medical / Dental; Retired; Sales and Marketing; Self-employed; Teacher / Professor; Technical / Science / Engineering; Transportation; Other; Agriculture | ||
Income: |
Solvent; Enough; Comfortable |
- Not important at all
- Slightly important
- Moderately important
- Decidedly important
- Non-negotiable
More About Her
Hair Style: |
Long; Straight; Curly; It has its moods |
Eyesight: |
I wear contacts |
Disabilities: |
I have none |
Body Art: |
Pierced ears; A tattoo or two |
Sense of Humour: |
Dry |
Intelligence: |
Rocket Scientist |
Ruled by: |
The head |
Party Behaviour: |
An average mingler |
Personality Traits: |
Cautious; Daring; Funny; Intelligent; Optimistic; Outgoing; Outrageous; Outspoken; Quiet; Sarcastic; Silly; Wild & Crazy |
Valued Qualities: |
Chemistry; Compassion; Faithfulness; Forgiveness; Friendliness; Honesty; Hope; Humility; Humour; Kindness; Sexiness |
Fashion Sense: |
Casual (I'm usually in my favourite jeans) |
Favourite Clothing: |
Anything, as long as it's black |
Favourite Colour: |
Black |
Date Activities: |
Dinner at a restaurant; Meeting for drinks |
Music Preferences: |
Classical; Dance / Disco; Pop / Top 40; R&B / Soul; Rap / Hip Hop; Rock |
Reading: |
I love it |
Books: |
Best-sellers; Crime; Fiction; History; Non-fiction |
TV Habits: |
I don't have a TV |
TV Shows: |
Comedy / Sit-coms; Documentaries; Dramas; Educational; Movie Channels; Music Channels; Nature / Wildlife; News |
Movie Frequency: |
Once or twice a month |
Movie Preferences: |
Action; Art Films; Comedy; Documentary; Drama; Independent; Romance; War |
Interests: |
Business news; Cooking; Meditation; Photography; Reading; Shopping; Yoga |
Sport Involvement: |
Not involved at all |
Sports: |
Chess; Horse Riding; Scuba diving |
Cooking: |
I really enjoy cooking |
Food: |
Asian Fusion; Chinese; Doesn't matter; Fine Dining; Gastro Pub; Greek; Indian; Italian; Pub Grub; South African; Sushi; Thai; Vietnamese |
Go Out to Eat: |
I eat out a few times a week |
Dietary Restrictions: |
I have none |
Pace of Life: |
Organised |
Time at Work: |
I always put in overtime |
Pastimes of choice: |
Napping |
Time Online: |
I'm on several hours a day |
Take Drugs: |
Never |
Family Size: |
I've got brothers |
Family Closeness: |
We're dysfunctional |
Relationship Type: |
I'm just plain single |
Willing to Relocate: |
Not at all |
Animals: |
I love my pet(s) |
Pets (Like): |
Cat(s); Dog(s); Horse(s) |
Pets (Dislike): |
Bird(s); Exotic pet(s); Fish; Reptile(s); Rodent(s) |
Turn-ons: |
Assertiveness; Body piercing(s); Dancing; Erotica; Flirting; Intelligence; Long hair; Showing affection in public; Power; Sarcasm; Skinny dipping; Tattoo(s); Thrill seeking; Wealth |
Work Aspirations: |
I already have my ideal job |
Dream Home: |
Cabin in the mountains |
Politics: |
Moderate |
Retirement Plans: |
Exploring the 7 Wonders of the World |
Feelings about using Love 2 Know U: |
Nervous; Hopeful; Curious; Excited; Jaded |
Honesty: |
Extremely |