xoJanexoJane
9

xoJane

51 – Northern Suburbs (Cape Town), Cape Town, South Africa

Not saying your aftershave is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

Two-Way Match

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Online: More than 6 months ago

Modified: More than 6 months ago

Mobile number not yet verified.

In Her Own Words

About Her

I would flirt with you, but I'd rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

I tell great jokes -- the problem is I start laughing before I even get to the punchline. No one actually gets to hear the end of the joke --- it's the price you pay for my level of comedic timing.

If there is a carpet or a step, I will trip over it ---often a total t^ts-over-arse .... the tripping does not need alcohol, it's my special skill.

Great cook --- just too lazy to cook. I can make a reservation like a fiend --- it is almost a super power the way I do it. I am also happy to watch you in an apron. You actually cooking is optional.

Animal Lover --- a maltese poodle is not a dog. I am slightly obsessed with red foxes. I really love dogs - though presently find myself sans dogs.

Winner of a Beauty contest in monopoly. #truestory

Owner of a car ---- it's more of a plumber's van. But try not to show the revulsion on your face too early, it's bound to hurt my feelings

On our first date I will probably carve our initials onto a tree, for no other reason than to show you that I carry a flick knife with me.

I am going to be your most fun "lets go for drinks" date --- I may or may not remember the last 2 hours or so, but let's live wild and free, and clearly senseless.

Sometimes I tell people I work at McDonalds and they do not seem to be surprised by that statement ---not sure what to do with that piece of information.

I take myself incredibly seriously .... as you can tell.

I am not interested in what you earn, the car you drive, or even how many divorces you have under your belt. It does bother me if you pose in front of a vibracrete wall.

If you can laugh at the part in Monty Python where they use coconut shells to make horse-hooves sounds, then I have already picked out a wedding dress and I know what we will be doing for the next 29 - 56 days.

If sarcasm upsets you, then I suggest you walk away.

But do it with a Michael Jackson moonwalk, just so we retain eye contact the entire time.

About Her Ideal Match

I am not sure if he is out there. I am hoping for that moment when I meet someone and I JUST KNOW. That this guy is going to be worth a restraining order.

One day.

I want MY person who I can get up to shenanigans with, and he will forgive me all my wrong doings. He will be happy to lie on the couch and watch me fall asleep as soon as the movie starts.

I want to be "enamored" by someone. Besotted with. Smitten with. And I want someone to look at me like I am chocolate cake.

I am not looking for someone to save me (white knights need not apply).

I have a good life -- I want to meet someone who has a life and who still gets excited about "buy one get one for free" deals.

I can usually pay my Wooworths account on time --- I am on the verge of opening a Mr Price account. That just shows you how financially secure I am!! Can I get a whoop-whoop?? {last month I was eating baked beans out of a tin, so it can go any direction at any time}

What I want is someone who holds me close, I can rest my head on their chest and for a few moments forget I have had a crap day ---- I am 1.73cm so size is an issue here. And I wear heels.

Someone who I can talk to --- great communication is almost number 1 on the "shit that is really important list."

This is the sort of thing that I would laugh at : There's no "I" in "team" but there are 5 in "individual brilliance".

Someone who appreciates how important a stable wi-fi connection is.

Someone who understands sanity is a fluid state.

Someone who knows if they jump out of the cupboard and scream "BOO" I will probably sh^t my pants. But they are still brave enough to do it.

Someone who sings Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody full throttle even if they get half the words wrong.

Just a nice guy.

What Her Friends Say

xoJane hasn't asked any friends to write a recommendation yet.

About Her

Country of Origin:
South Africa
Location:
Northern Suburbs (Cape Town), Cape Town, South Africa
Gender:
Female
Age:
51
Star Sign:
Taurus
Height:
173cm (5' 8.1")
Body Type:
Curvaceous
Looks:
Above Average
Hair Colour:
Blonde
Eye Colour:
Blue
Ethnicity:
White/Caucasian
Home Language:
English
Other Languages:
Afrikaans
Religion:
Other
Relationship Status:
Divorced
Looking for:
Activity partners; Open to possibilities; Long-term; Marriage
Have Children:
Yes, living with me sometimes
Want Children:
No
Daily Diet:
Eat most things
Smoking:
Non-Smoker
Drinking:
Occasional Drinker
Education:
Technical Diploma
Occupation:
Self-employed
Income:
Solvent

About Her Ideal Match

Country of Origin:
Anywhere in the World
Location:
City Bowl (Western Cape, South Africa)
Gender:
Male
Age Range:
45 - 59
Star Sign:
Any
Height:
175cm (5' 8.9") - 210cm (6' 10.7") or taller
Body Type:
Average
Looks:
Average; Attractive
Hair Colour:
Any
Eye Colour:
Any
Has a Photo:
Non-negotiable
Ethnicity:
White/Caucasian; Mixed
Home Language:
English
Other Languages:
Any
Religion:
Agnostic; Atheist; Buddhist / Taoist; Christian / Catholic; Christian / Protestant; Christian / Other; Jewish; Spiritual, but not religious; Christian / Orthodox
Relationship Status:
Single; Divorced; Widowed
Have Children:
Any
Want Children:
No
Daily Diet:
Eat most things
Smoking:
Non-Smoker; Occasional; Trying to Quit
Drinking:
Occasional Drinker; Regular Drinker
Education:
Some University / College; Technical Diploma; Associates degree; Bachelors degree; Postgraduate degree; PhD / Post Doctoral
Occupation:
Artistic / Musical / Writer; Executive / Management; Finance; Labour / Construction; Legal; Medical / Dental; Retired; Sales and Marketing; Self-employed; Teacher / Professor; Technical / Science / Engineering; Transportation; Other; Agriculture
Income:
Solvent; Enough; Comfortable
  • Not important at all
  • Slightly important
  • Moderately important
  • Decidedly important
  • Non-negotiable

More About Her

More Physical Characteristics
Hair Style:
Long; Straight; Curly; It has its moods
Eyesight:
I wear contacts
Disabilities:
I have none
Body Art:
Pierced ears; A tattoo or two
Personality
Sense of Humour:
Dry
Intelligence:
Rocket Scientist
Ruled by:
The head
Party Behaviour:
An average mingler
Personality Traits:
Cautious; Daring; Funny; Intelligent; Optimistic; Outgoing; Outrageous; Outspoken; Quiet; Sarcastic; Silly; Wild & Crazy
Valued Qualities:
Chemistry; Compassion; Faithfulness; Forgiveness; Friendliness; Honesty; Hope; Humility; Humour; Kindness; Sexiness
Fashion Sense:
Casual (I'm usually in my favourite jeans)
Favourite Clothing:
Anything, as long as it's black
Favourite Colour:
Black
Leisure & Entertainment
Date Activities:
Dinner at a restaurant; Meeting for drinks
Music Preferences:
Classical; Dance / Disco; Pop / Top 40; R&B / Soul; Rap / Hip Hop; Rock
Reading:
I love it
Books:
Best-sellers; Crime; Fiction; History; Non-fiction
TV Habits:
I don't have a TV
TV Shows:
Comedy / Sit-coms; Documentaries; Dramas; Educational; Movie Channels; Music Channels; Nature / Wildlife; News
Movie Frequency:
Once or twice a month
Movie Preferences:
Action; Art Films; Comedy; Documentary; Drama; Independent; Romance; War
Interests:
Business news; Cooking; Meditation; Photography; Reading; Shopping; Yoga
Sport Involvement:
Not involved at all
Sports:
Chess; Horse Riding; Scuba diving
Food
Cooking:
I really enjoy cooking
Food:
Asian Fusion; Chinese; Doesn't matter; Fine Dining; Gastro Pub; Greek; Indian; Italian; Pub Grub; South African; Sushi; Thai; Vietnamese
Go Out to Eat:
I eat out a few times a week
Dietary Restrictions:
I have none
More Lifestyle
Pace of Life:
Organised
Time at Work:
I always put in overtime
Pastimes of choice:
Napping
Time Online:
I'm on several hours a day
Take Drugs:
Never
Family Size:
I've got brothers
Family Closeness:
We're dysfunctional
Relationship Type:
I'm just plain single
Willing to Relocate:
Not at all
Likes & Dislikes
Animals:
I love my pet(s)
Pets (Like):
Cat(s); Dog(s); Horse(s)
Pets (Dislike):
Bird(s); Exotic pet(s); Fish; Reptile(s); Rodent(s)
Turn-ons:
Assertiveness; Body piercing(s); Dancing; Erotica; Flirting; Intelligence; Long hair; Showing affection in public; Power; Sarcasm; Skinny dipping; Tattoo(s); Thrill seeking; Wealth
The Deep Stuff
Work Aspirations:
I already have my ideal job
Dream Home:
Cabin in the mountains
Politics:
Moderate
Retirement Plans:
Exploring the 7 Wonders of the World
Feelings about using Love 2 Know U:
Nervous; Hopeful; Curious; Excited; Jaded
Honesty:
Extremely